What Our Friends Don't See

1/10/17

What Our Friends Don’t See

I just got out of bed

I’m stretching my calves

then doing other stretches

precariously holding on to the top of the tall dresser

there is a crash from the kitchen

Howie opened a cupboard

and my coffee mug

fell out and onto

a favorite ceramic bowl

breaking them both

Jackie starts crying and screams,

this is what sets me off

we have other people in our house helping us

they put things in the wrong places

they fall out and break

then there’s glass on the floor

I’ll cut my foot

I’m trying to make Howie breakfast

he’s late for school again

now the sink disposal is going to break

Barbara stops by to drop off my computer

I listen to them talk, laugh and cry

I’m on the floor of our bedroom on my yoga mat

doing my morning floor exercises

thinking to myself,

usually I tell them where everything goes

but yesterday I went to the bathroom

while Gail did dishes

I do a mountain pose on my back

arms stretched overhead, feet straight

head tilted back

it feels good and safe

Barbara leaves taking Buddy

we have appointments in Bozeman all day

I do my floor routine

end with shavassana

then roll over and try to get up

I struggle to get on all fours

the yoga mat is too sticky

I forgot to push it out of the way

I can’t get up on all fours

I roll over onto my back

Jackie wants to help me

I’m out of breath

I say to her,

this is what our friends don’t see

she rolls up my yoga mat

and says, but they read about it

I roll onto my stomach

get up on my elbows

and with all my strength

manage my way onto all fours

I lean on the seat of my walker

propped up against Jackie’s desk

slowly, one bent foot, one bent leg,

one bent arm, at a time

I lift myself up

grab the handles of the walker

and stand up