We Make Plans and God Laughs

We Make Plans and God Laughs

spent my appointment with Josh

talking about my travel anxiety

my need to observe the world spin around me

not partake, not get involved

stay in the moment, be mindful

“I have arrived, I am home

in the here and in the now

I am solid, I am free

in the ultimate, I dwell”

mantra/poem by Thich Nhat Hanh

in his book You Are Here

that has been my mantra of late

I have memorized it

I keep talking about it

I breathe it

I think it as I try to sleep

as I try to stay calm

Josh worked on my alignment, my circulation

supporting my need to be mindful of the world

but to stay detached from the craziness

the hustle and bustle that surrounds me

as always I left my session

much calmer and centered

feeling much better about my plane rides to Florida

with Micah on Saturday

Barbara was waiting for me at the counter

and immediately said – you had a good session

I can tell

Alisun, my naturopath was at the counter as well,

I’ve been on the phone with Jackie all morning

it looks like we can get you enrolled

in a clinical trial for NP001

I started crying, gently, it was so hopeful

I am so touched by Alisun’s effort into my care

Barbara helped me pay, and carry my vitamins to the car

she helped me navigate my way to the car

and into the car

we were running out of time between appointments

I drank some water, ate an apple

as she drove me to Andy, my therapist

Barbara tried to park the car parallel to the curb

it was super snowy out and navigating my way to the sidewalk

from the car was not easy, a young angel woman walking by

helped Barbara get me out of the car and into the office

it was not easy

Andy and dog Walter were awaiting my arrival

after getting me seated and elevated on the couch

we started the session with a meditation

Andy helped me with my seated posture

I talked about my feet being swollen

the speech therapist who operated on fear

how she scared us and hurt my spirit

how western medicine operates this way

how I have chosen for an eastern approach

Andy was so so supportive,

Josh, Sarah, Lauren, Alisun and I

can all help you keep your voice and your breath

we talked about Micah and our trip to Florida

about mindfulness and living in the moment

and Thich Nhat Hanh

he noticed my neck was sore

he asked me to think of someone nurturing,

my mother… oh mom…

Andy put my shoes back on and my coat

helped me get up off the couch

steadied me on my walker

opened the door

and Barbara was standing right there

Do you have another appointment right now?

Yes-

Barbara looked a bit distraught

Well, Micah is O.K., he was in a ski accident

but he’s O.K. , he broke his patella and lacerated his knee

Jackie is driving him to the hospital

which should make you happy, no ambulance bill

I was walking with my walker, gently crying

Barbara said, you’re handling this much better than I thought

well, you told me really well

so we don’t know what we are doing now do we?

after I got into the car I bawled for a minute

releasing my stress with tears

we went to the co-op parking lot

Barbara got us some soup

we ate in the car

then we met Jackie and Micah

at the entrance to the emergency room

my car pulled up next to Jackie’s

window to window

Micah looked fine. he cried out of disappointment

I told him, it was o.k., shit happens

I love you Micah, you’re going to be fine

we will spend time together in our house

 

since the knee was cut open

they had to do the surgery right away

Barbara helped Jackie get Micah out of the car

we drove home

Barbara and I arrived at home

slowly we navigated me out of the car

to my walker and into the house

there was one precarious moment

when I almost lost hold of the bannister

while Barb brought my walker up the steps

that moment of trepidation

resonated with me

the need to be mindful

don’t make things worse

whewww

then one step at a time into the house

and straight to my bed

minutes later friends arrived

and they helped get my shoes off

my coat off, my pants off

then to the bathroom

then back to bed

exhausted

John and Barbara went up the mountain to get Micah’s car

Laura and Gabby made dinner

Nettie, Ellie and Ben arrived

while I rested

they were all planning on coming to dinner

before Micah’s ski accident

for a college send off for Ben & Gabby

so this dinner was still happening with a twist

when John got back to the house

with his help, I got undressed

took a shower, shaved

got dressed

joined the party

me and 6 friends

all holding us up with their loving hearts

We have amazing friends

Micah’s surgery was a success

I went to bed early at 10:30

Jackie got home around 11:30

I woke up came out to see her

said goodnight to the Michels 

and went back to bed

post surgery sushi from Gail

two new screws put his knee back together

the next day

Jackie took Buddy for a walk on a bluebird day

so today instead of flying to Florida

Micah and I watched football together