A Coin

gold and shiny

left on the deli counter

next to the tip jar

by an unknown customer

during a lunch rush

with one particularly frustrated

young lady

an unhappy customer who felt neglected

as I struggled

to get a cookie out of a jar with plastic tongs

to spoon salads to go from the case

to make change from the register

to take care of the long line

behind her

a religious coin, a guardian angel

I kept it in my pocket for a few days

it fell out in the car

on our way to my first neurologist appointment

Jackie sat to my left

the doctor stood right in front of me

I sat on the end of the patient’s table

my naked legs dangling

the doctor looked at my legs

and said to Jackie, do you see that?

yes I see, Jackie said

my muscles twitching uncontrollably

me completely unaware

The doctor blurted,

Mark, you have ALS

I stared at him then looked at Jackie

her entire body shaking

that’s it?!, she said, you’re just going to tell us that –

it can’t be anything else?

he had a list of neurological disorders on the computer behind him

and ruled them out

one by one

when it hit me, I got off the table

sat next to Jackie, fell into her arms and bawled,

Lou Gehrig, he played every game without a day off for 15 years straight

and then he got this

we left the office in shock

went to separate bathrooms down the hospital hall

I leaned on a wall and waited

when Jackie appeared we broke down

got it together and left

a few days later, without looking for it

I found the coin in the car between the seat and the door

it sits on a bookcase in my bedroom