two poems from Moab

Election Day 2016

I’m sitting in front of a t.v.

waiting to hear Hillary’s concession speech

I’m in shock

it feels like I’m living

in an alternative universe

that I accidentally entered

through a wrong door

and I can’t find my way back

Everyday when I wake up

in the morning and I struggle

to get out of bed

I know that this is my reality

and there is no way out

except to be strong and positive

and to surround myself with people

I love and enjoy

focus on fun and  joy

love and laughter

and beauty

Two months ago I was diagnosed with ALS

it started as weakness in my right hand

and then weakness in my legs

I can still use my hands

I can still walk

but now use walking poles

Jackie and I spent election day

in Canyonlands National Park

in beautiful southern Utah

we drove around

and took a couple of short hikes

The longest hike of the day

was 1 kilometer to Pothole Point

it was like walking on the moon

little craters on a rock surface

I stumbled and fell twice

tripping over the potholes

but I got up both times

with Jackie’s help

bruised and sore, but still walking

we sat and picnicked

in front of a massive majestic expansive view

two ravens joined us

squawking, kissing, grooming, hovering by us

only a few feet away

we enjoyed our lunch

and took in the beauty

we hiked the one kilometer back to the car

slowly and carefully, arm in arm

mindful of every step

those two falls were new to us

and scared us

but we carried on

we drove around the park

and stopped at another short hike

this one  1 kilometer round trip

mostly on a dirt trail

to an ancient Native American granary

a store house for corn

the sun set in the distance

behind the red rock walls of Canyonlands

we drove back to Moab

an hour or so away

back to cell service and radio

to slowly find out

that Hillary was not winning

and as the night progressed

that Trump had won in a stunning upset

and so my alternative universe

marked with tears and fatigue

will continue on

but I will prevail

I will be strong

I will have fun

and I know that despite all this craziness

I will always be surrounded by love

My First Visit to a Bookstore

I’m out on a walk

in downtown Moab

with my walking sticks

I adjust my backpack on my shoulder

my water bottle falls out

and rolls away on the sidewalk

towards the street curb

a young man passing by grabs it for me

I stop and lean against a wall and

put it back in my pack

half a block later it crashes to the ground again

this time I somehow pick it up myself

lean against a picket fence and put it inside my pack

I continue on to the bookstore

I drop my backpack near the door

and wander around

without a wall to lean on

I struggle to look through a book

without falling

I lean on my sticks, but I really need a hand to do that

and its hard to look through a book with only one hand

in front of the Western section

there is the back of a couch

that I lean on while I look

Bass, Doig, Harrison, but I still can’t reach

down to the bottom shelf

without risk of cramps or falling

or the inability to get back up

so no Stegner for me

I look at a book by Thich Nhat Hanh

“How to Walk”

the entry I read is about being mindful of every step

I put it back before I stumble and fall

I pick up my backpack by the door

thank the bookseller

and wander back onto the sidewalk

where I find a bench to sit and rest