Markymoose in Big Sky: July 2010

I am going to load another boatload of photos for all to see and help experience and relive the bar mitzvah weekend, but first since I find myself home alone (except for the dogs, Murray is scratching for attention already) and it's only 4:30 in the afternoon and it looks like it might storm before I even look at the pictures from the actual Bar Mitzvah service maybe I should try to gather some thoughts and write you all a letter...

Dear Friends and Family,

It is already over a month since that magical day and weekend of Micah's Big Sky Bar Mitzvah and I sometimes still feel like I'm in the middle of it or sometimes as if it never happened, there are some moments that stick as if they are frozen in my mind and a lot of it is just a whirlwind. Truly, throughout the weekend I never felt so blessed, so lucky, and so surrounded by love. At one point, I think it was Friday night, Rabbi Ed asked me if I remembered what I told him I wanted to feel at Micah's Bar Mitzvah when we first met last September and I couldn't remember exactly what I said, but I have a feeling it was something about wanting to feel blessed.

I was very proud of all 3 of my sons and how they handled themselves all weekend. Andrew was a mensch all weekend, smiling ear to ear, and obviously a very proud big brother. Howie also enjoyed himself all weekend, and was able to generously let Micah be the center of attention, realizing his turn is coming only 3 years away...

My wife, Jackie, well for some reason whenever I think about her, tears well up in my eyes, I love her dearly, she is an amazing partner and this weekend could never have happened without her sincere generosity of self and soul. There were so many magical moments all weekend and unfortunately being so so busy with all of you - my family and friends blogging through the weekend just didn't happen so the detailed reporting that I sometimes can become so obsessed with did not happen... but sometimes that is all for the better, it was a weekend of feeling, not reporting, a weekend of joyous sharing, loving conversations, special moments, many of which were captured by photographs...

Having my father partake in all the events, having been living here for a month before the weekend, acclamated to his condo and the mountains, and hosting a small party himself, watching him hang out with his sister Joan, dancing during the party, wanting to stay to the very end, simply gave me, still gives me lots of joy.

I think it was Sunday afternoon when I found myself at home alone with my Aunt Joan, a bunch of people had gone for a hike in Porcupine, Dad and Helena and Peggy went out to take the dogs for a walk around the block. Joan and I sat in the living room and talked. At this point I don't remember all the specifics of the conversation, but it was a big share, about the family, about life, and full of love. My Aunt Joan. Whenever I think about sitting there and talking with her, I can't stop picturing, little me - 8 years old... sitting on Grandma Anna Robin's lap, watching the Mets games, or the first man walk on the moon. I sat on her lap, she sat in the big soft rocking chair, I think I used to play with the fat of her arms, slapping it back and forth, and talk, who knows what I talked about, but I know I talked. Back then (probably still) I was known to talk a lot. Grandma Robin died when I was about 11 and one of the things I remember about her is that she always said she wouldn't make it to my bar mitzvah. I can't remember how I replied to that repeated line of hers, except I'm sure I said something like, yes you will... One of the blessings from this event is listening to Stan, not only all his little stories that he's been telling, and not only his ear to ear grins, but his change in attitude. When we picked him up in New York in May he was ready to check out, "it's not worth all the aches and pains, now I understand why my mother was ready to go... no one gets out alive..." but now he keeps saying... I want to be around for Howie's bar mitzvah." His head is taller, his gait is stronger, his strides are longer... life is good...

The service on Saturday was awesome. Micah was so centered, so at ease, a young man with poise. The service was moving, it moved, it was uplifting and spiritual. His d'vah torah was meaningful, the weather was lush....and now for the photos...

It rained from midnight Friday until 6 am Saturday morning, the sky outside our door at 7 am...